At the age of eight, I challenged the claim "Strikes Anywhere" on a box of Mom's Diamond red- and white-tipped kitchen matches. As advertised, every last one lit. The "Anywhere" in the claim "Strikes Anywhere" that I chose was the loft of our barn where I learned that newly bailed alfalfa's motto should be "Burns Quickly." After enlisting my younger brother to "Stomp, quick!" and "Don't tell Dad!" we ran deep in the woods to hide and pray that we smothered all of the smoldering hay.
Sitting on a large rock in a cedar outcrop, I realized that it would be far less painful to be in the barn after it burned to the ground with a melted garden hose in my charred hands, the courageous martyred son, than standing near the ruins holding an empty box of Diamond "Strikes Anywhere" kitchen matches when Dad came home from work.