I have learned that often solutions do not make emotional sense. For instance in driver's ed, I learned to turn in the direction of the skid in order to right the vehicle. Why did I have to be taught that? Because when it actually happens, that would not be the solution I would think to use.
I am definitely not proposing that we, as a nation, friend the fanatical terrorists that made 9/11/01 a day to always reverently remember; however, if on Sunday 9/11/2011, we choose to "turn in the direction of the skid" and extend forgiveness to someone who we consider an enemy, there just might be a "righting" effect for our personal little corner of the world.