Like a trained seal, I continue to function in the familar land of gray. I give more than I get. I take less than I deserve. I settle for good enough and wait patiently for better. All that leaves me empty. My marriage was good enough at times to tolerate and bad enough at times to scare me to death...yet I stayed and I gave and I gave until there was nothing left of me. That has left me accustomed to thinking I am not worth much and that "one day" it will all be better. One day never came.I trusted words. I trusted promises. I've taught myself not to trust myself as a good judge of who is to be trusted. It is a scary place all this giving and trusting. I fear giving and trusting too much again and being left with nothing to show but lost time.I try to remember, people can only take what I give. My new job is to not give more than I can spare.