I was talking with a friend one day, about my surprise at seeing not just one, but a selection of fingertip vibrators, in the perpetually old-fashioned and quaint Vermont Country Store catalog. "Oh yes," she says, and
proceeds to tell about the one that was ordered as a
joke for a friend's grandmother as a baby shower prize.
Apparently, the women planning the party rigged the
game so that Granny would win the grand prize, open it
and provide laughs for all in attendance. Well, Granny
opened it as planned but that begins the REST of the
story... "Well I'll be! I's a-thinkin' hit wouldn't be but long
before I'd be a-needin' me a new one-o-them. I's sure
hopin' they's not makin' em so loud these days. Well, ya
know, Frank, me an' him sleeps in two rooms so's he
can get some sleep cuz I just snores somethin' awful.
Well, sometimes I gets done with my old vibrator and I
just sit it on the bed stand and forgets to turn it off. Well,
next thing ya know, there's Frank, a-yellin' from his
room, tellin' me to turn off my danged vibrator. Hell, he's
always sayin' that the neighbors down the road can likely
hear the doggone thing. This is surely my lucky day, it is.
Ya'll think it's got battries so we can give it a listen
here?" Insert heavy Northeast Tennessee twang
throughout Granny's dialogue. Punctuate the end of the story with a bunch of gape-mouthed women. Now we know why the nice folks at the Vermont Country Store
keep those vibrators in their catalogue;-D