My Bipolar meds help mostly. I'm hardly ever depressed anymore and not anything like before. But still, I miss my old (manic) self. I miss being hyper productive and high as a kite happy. I miss staying up for three days. The creative spark, that still comes, but not so easily or fully. I miss my old me. But I know staying on my medication is important. So I will. And I'll cry sometimes while I take the pills.