After 12 days of James being in the hospital, while holding down a job, trying to do something for the Holidays, I was plain old grumpy. When James is suffering and I mean suffering, any time I am not supportive and loving hits James hard. I think, "this could be our last week together and I cheated him or us out of something good." I suffer when I fail him. Yet I try to accept that I am human. But there are a couple of moments that I will think of in the future where I failed him.