Despite always being surrounded by family my autistic son is often all alone in his mind. He has a hard time breaking past the large wall that is framed around him. This is one of the greatest heartbreaks for me. I can hold him, squeeze him, and whisper words of support and encouragement into his ears and it as if I'm not there. I'm the ghost whose message falls deaf in his ears.
His loneliness weighs on me. He must feel so isolated from the world...sometimes he just screams and shrieks to himself because it is the only voice that he can seem to hear. His own cries are his touchstone to help remind him that he is alive.
Someday he will break free. Someday he will hear me. He just has to.