I think of so many ways I wish I could have done things better towards the end of James' life. The sicker he became, the more frantic our life became. Doctors, hospital, pharmacy, etc. I try to focus on the love we shared despite the difficult times. The pressure to be perfect when the love of your life is dying while under stress doesn't lend itself to a completely harmonious situation. Despite all that, no matter how difficult, we would embrace each other and he would say, "we are two people who love each other and we are under tremendous stress." That would get us back on track and focusing on the rose of our love.