Relax NRA members. I'm just joking. I don't even own a pistol. Instead, how about a couple of bitch slaps on behalf of the millions of concerned Americans, who believe the gun lobby's ho should be treated as such? Still too mean? Okay, okay. Just allow me to sneak some truth serum into his water minutes before his next testimony before a Congressional committee. No? Whoopee cushion on his chair that makes a gunshot sound?