My children are getting too old to keep the world's dirty secrets hidden from them.
They are now aware of how violent our world can be. Despite how much I try and protect them from things they always hear about the shootings, the wars, and the other acts of rage we commit against each other.
I grew up in a world where I hid under a desk wondering if my schoolroom was really able to withstand the blast of a Russian Nuke. While sitting under my desk with my head buried in my knees I always felt better. I felt somewhat hidden from the danger. I was terrified of nuclear annilation. It kept me up at night as I would pray that men I didn't know would decide to not press a button and end my life with a flash of light.
I swore that I would never let my kids ever be afraid of the world.
After day's like yesterday it is hard to make that pledge. Yes, I realize that terrible things have been happening all over the world long before the events in Boston. Car bombings and genecides are committed daily in far removed places from my family that I was able to not allow into my daily meditations. Maybe I should have.
Last night I went to sleep wondering what my kids think of this world as they lie in bed. When I was their age I worried about Russians...who do they worry about now? Everyone? A person carrying a duffle bag? The desk I hid under always provided me with a small sense of security. Of course, my poor old Catholic grade school desk would have been no match against the hear wave of a nuclear blast, it was still something that provided comfort. It was a place to hide. It was security.
Where are my children's hiding places?
Where is their security?