The was I wrote this doesnt exactly sit well with me. Honestly, its kind of scary but so is the issue I may be avoiding all this time.
I get overwhelmed just like everyone else. But I've realized lately more than ever that sometimes its over stupid things that shouldn't matter, but I just can't help it. Picking out how I wanted to wear my hair for prom did it. As did attempting, and subsequently failing, to relearn my chem formulas from this year. It's not that big of a deal if I would just relax, but its like something takes over inside me that wont let me focus.
I'm scared I may have anxiety. I'm scared because people with anxiety that ive met have major issues. Theyre cold. Nervous. Defensive. I dont want to be like that. But then whats wrong with me? "Normal" people don't start crying over their mom going to look at a new lake house just to see what its like but I do because I love mine, even if is small and the internet is slow and I dont have as many friends there. It's the little things like this that get me worked up in a way I cant explain. This is what I've been working on all year, but sometimes I just cant fight it.