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Big "C" terrifies me the most.

by TheAngstyPoet on July 23, 2013   |  FacebooktwitterTumblr

Today my sister went for an ultrasound for her liver and other organs in that area. At first it didn't seem so scary because I had to go to work and I could distract myself there. I didn't tell you my other coworkers because I didn't want to think about it. I just wanted to focus and do a good job. When I came home I was tired and laid down on the couch, listening to music. As I was relaxing it just kinda hit me, the severity of the circumstance because I been putting it off dealing with my feelings.
Since I procrastinated all day with my emotions it just kinda hit me all at once and I thought the worst. That you know, Victoria might have cancer because her blood work came back all fucked up. She has had bloodwork done a few times in the past couple of months; to make sure that the reports weren't being read wrong or that a mistake hadn't been made.
A week ago, the doctor wanted an ultrasound done. Now she has to see a gastro- specialist and a rheumatologist. It's frightening because any way you look, something is definitely wrong.
We don't have the most healthy lifestyles and Victoria has had lots of health problems and illnesses.
I remember when my MomMom(my grandmother) was diagnosed with cancer when she was on vacation. She'd gone to the hospital and was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. A
I'll always remember that Thursday because I just cried all night. Things just change at drop the hat and you never know what's coming and especially with all these different tests with the doctor's orders it was disheartening.
I was so scared because I thought I might lose my sister to cancer. Everyone's sister is annoying but I couldn't lose my best friend. 
The bottom line is Victoria doesn't have liver cancer but she's not one hundred percent either. We still have yet to find out and visit the specialists.


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