ok, if you've clicked through, you asked for it! i wrote this a few years ago as revenge for a bad pun that someone emailed me.
a boy cornstalk fell in love with a girl cornstalk and decided to pop the question. "listen", he said huskily, "there's something i want to ask you..." "go ahead", she replied, "i'm all ears." so he said, "will you marry me?" "oh yes!" she exclaimed, "but there's one thing i need to know first - do you have enough bread for us to live on? because i don't want to fritter my life away on someone with no prospects." "don't worry about that", he replied, "i'm no flake - if you stick with me you'll always know where your next meal is coming from!" and so they were married. it was a lovely ceremony; the bride wore silk and there were rows and rows of guests. the groom did complain, though, that his new shoes were too tight and they made his dogs hurt.