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Sonny came out. Moved in yesterday.

by ADHDean on October 12, 2013   |  FacebooktwitterTumblr

Sonny came out to Jen and me this past March. It was no surprise; we've know he was gay for years and were just waiting for him to know himself well enough to accept it and admit it to himself and those he loves.

His mother hasn't done well with the news (funny, isn't it usually the dad who struggles with it and the mom who's supportive?). Anyway, she's given him difficulty since he made the announcement. Suddenly, he's not doing enough around the house. His friends are all suspect and no longer welcome. He was grounded for- and this is the truth- not vacating the living room fast enough when his mother wanted it to herself. And the list goes on.

The final straw came when she made him have a meeting with the pastor of the small independent, charismatic "full-Gospel" church they attend. The Pastor gave Sonny a choice: go before the entire church and admit his sin, then request their help praying for him as he tries to overcome it and be straight OR leave the church. His mother has told him that if he's not in church, he can't live with her. He started moving his things in last night. Jen and I have told him all along that he has a place here. I'm happy that he has finally decided to occupy it. He's a fantastic young man, and I wonder how his being gay has led his mother to believe otherwise. I foresee lonely years for her in her old age if she doesn't open her heart and mind to him.

In the meantime, Sonny has a home where he knows he's loved and accepted for who he is. People have praised me for being a great dad over this, but I'm just being a dad. There's nothing special about loving my kid; it's my job. I don't want to be that jackass of a father my gay friends have told me about. I just want to love my kid and help him to be a stable, healthy adult. Looks to me like he's on the way there, and that makes me happy.


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