Above anything else, I think I'm angry to be feeling low again. I thought depression had lost its grip on my life and I felt so beautifully free. But now I face the truth that it never was truly gone and now it's back to haunt me once more.
I don't want to give in to it. When I stop, when I pause, I feel a pain that is far too familiar. So recently I've been keeping myself as busy as I can, always making sure I know that I have things to do and keep myself occupied with. Actively putting it to the back of my mind has worked to some extent so far, but it still managed to seep through the imperfections and cracks in my shell.
I don't want this horrible monster called depression to keep finding me and I so want to fight it. But before I had to fall apart before I could be built back up again, and I can't let myself fall apart. Not now. Not ever.