She had her own life. She had friends, hobbies, and dreams. For whatever reason, the Lord made me a wallflower. I didn't have many friends, and I had hobbies that I would usually forget so as to make time for her. Unlike most people, I don't really have dreams about what I want out of life. All I want is someone to love.
I pushed aside what little I had and made our relationship the object of my attention. I inadvertently latched myself onto her life and forgot my own... and in the end, it cost me my four year relationship with her.
She'd go out with her friends, and I'd feel lonely. She'd want to go out and try new things with those friends, and I'd feel jealous because I wasn't involved.
I was smothering the poor thing.
And now that I've lost her, I can't help but want to smack myself up the head for being made this way. I find a single thing I like and become obsessed with it.
At least I know now not to do the same to any future relationships. I'm just so sorry that I had to learn such a simple lesson through such a harsh series of events.