I should be thankful, and I am. I should be living, and I am. I should have died, but I didn't! So, why am I "on hold"? There's a song performed by Tim McGraw, titled, "Live Like You Were Dying" and I totally get it...I do...but ever since I survived I have to admit it, I haven't been thriving. Has anyone else out there had this experience? Is it survivor's guilt I am suffering with? Am I simply stunned by my good fortune? I wish I could shake my head hard enough to snap myself out of it...but I can't...seem...to. Yes, I want to return to my former self...the me before the disease...but, I'm having difficulty...like trying to walk on a path, in the darkness, that is filled with tree roots, rocks, and potholes. Tell me, is there a strong group of prayer warriors out there who can lift me up and pray for wholeness and health again for this wandering soul? Yes, I survived--and I am SO THANKFUL--but...now what? God, what is the plan and purpose for the rest of my meaningful life?