We've got 23 year in this month, not counting the six years of dating that preceded the wedding. By my count, that puts close to our 4th decade of working this thing out, and although I'd like to say we're getting closer (most of the time), it is still very much a work in progress. Sometimes it helps me to think of it as two or even three marriages that just happen to be with the same person. In 30 years we've gone from two crazy college kids to the parents of three nearly grown children. We have lost two fathers and seen our mothers become people who rely on us, as much if not more than we rely on them. We have found and lost careers and jobs and lost and found each of our children and each other countless times. Still more often than not, I wonder why we haven't gotten this thing right or in my worst moments why we haven't just given up, but eventually, dragging my feet and kicking the walls, I remember perfection is the illusion and the journey is what is, and that we are constantly becoming who we are as individuals, as partners as a family and I take a deep breath and get myself back on the trail.