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Warning: Backstory is an extended pun.

BY NumbrOneAunt on September 17, 2013
20 | 0 Favorites
ok, if you've clicked through, you asked for it! i wrote this a few years ago as revenge for a bad pun that someone emailed me.
a boy cornstalk fell in love with a girl cornstalk and decided to pop the question. \"listen\", he said huskily, \"there's something i want to ask you...\" \"go ahead\", she replied, \"i'm all ears.\" so he said, \"will you marry me?\" \"oh yes!\" she exclaimed, \"but there's one thing i need to know first - do you have enough bread for us to live on? because i don't want to fritter my life away on someone with no prospects.\" \"don't worry about that\", he replied, \"i'm no flake - if you stick with me you'll always know where your next meal is coming from!\" and so they were married. it was a lovely ceremony; the bride wore silk and there were rows and rows of guests. the groom did complain, though, that his new shoes were too tight and they made his dogs hurt.

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