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Visiting WebMD is always bad idea.

BY JohnBigJohn on December 10, 2013
3 | 2 Favorites
John: Hello WebMD.

WebMD: Hello John. How are you feeling? You look a little pale.

John: That's kind of my normal complexion.

WebMD: Oh, it is? Huh. Well, let me just add that to your list of symptoms.

John: What? That's not actually not a symptom. I'm not-

WebMD: I'm also detecting that you have unnaturally long nose hair. I'll have to include that into your profile as well.

John: It's not unnatural. Everyone has three inch strands of hair hanging out in their nasal cavity, right? Right?

WebMD: (to self) Subject also suffers from delusional tendencies. Please notify local mental health professionals.

John: Hey! I'm standing right here!

WebMD: Oh. You're standing? I thought you were sitting down. Being short can be a symptom of major health issue.

John: No it's not!

WebMD: Please don't raise your voice. How long would you say that you've been suffering from the inability to control your emotions?

John: You're freaking me out. I think I'm going to leave.

WebMD: Wait - don't you want to know what all of those symptoms mean?

John: Not really.

WebMD: John, it's important that you have a handle on any or all potential health problems.

John: Oh, okay then. What do all of those symptoms mean.

WebMD: According to my calculations I would say you are going to be dead by sunset.

John: Of course I am...

WebMD: Thanks for visiting me. Please refer a friend.

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