Several years ago my husband and I took my niece and nephew (grade schoolers at the time) to a nearby park with a great pool and water slides. My husband and I took turns playing with them in the pool. I read my book for a while and made sure they applied sunscreen. And we both watched them go down the slide.

My niece asked if I wanted to go on the water slide. I said, "sure," even though water isn't my favorite element. I slowly made my way up the stairs (and there were a lot of them) behind them thinking how bad could it be? I'd had a couple traumatic experiences being tossed in the deep end without being a strong swimmer, but figured I was in control and it was only a slide and only into a few feet of water.. How bad could it be?

But I'm a good sport and a fun aunt so I grabbed an inner tube and waited my turn to slide down. My niece and nephew went first. I barely climbed onto the tube when I felt like I'd been shot out of a cannon. I hurtled round and round and within seconds was in the water.

I usually hold my nose when going in water if there's any chance of me getting it up my nose. However, the rubbery chariot from hell got me to the bottom of the slide in seconds and I flew into the air before plunging into the water, the inner tube no longer under me.

I immediately realized that I hadn't had time to hold my nose and so of course opened my mouth to breathe. And breathe I did. I breathed in water though, not air. Lots and lots of water.

I totally lost my bearings and didn't know up from down. I was floundering like a "fish out of water." How bad was it? So bad that someone called for a lifeguard to help me. There I was, a 60-something year old woman being fished out of the water by a tiny young woman in the requisite red swimsuit. I was starting to feel silly but as soon as I was stood up I felt a copious amount of water quickly moving down my throat into the pit of my stomach. It was not a good feeling.

My husband, having seen what happened came over to check me out. Apparently I'd put on quite a show splashing about. In fact, my husband thought my uncontrollable antics was just me being silly.

My niece and nephew missed the whole thing except for seeing the lifeguard grabbing me and escorting me out of the pool to the office.

Once there, they had no idea what to do with me. There was a blood pressure cuff but no one knew how to use it. I told them that I didn't feel good. I felt disoriented and sick to my stomach. The 6 teenagers looked at each other confused. Well, do you want us to call an ambulance? No, I said, but is there any protocol for swallowing a helluva lot of water. Water chockful of bacteria as well as the chemicals that were used to kill the bacteria. It occurred to me that this was near the end of the season and therefore lots of bacteria and chlorine and chemicals. Oh my.

So without any advice or assistance I left the office. We had planned to leave after this last "ride" down the slide anyway. I reassured my niece and nephew that I was feeling a little better though eager to get home.

Once home I took a bunch of charcoal capsules (used to absorb poisons) and hoped for the best.

A question for people: how the heck do little kids go down these slides without more injuries or incidents like mine? They are much smaller and must go much faster than adults do. To reiterate: I was flying down that slide.

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

The yellow and blue slide on the right side of the photo is just like the one that began and ended my pool slide career.

#SwimmingIinSix