Words a wise woman therapist told me back in 2001 when I was single and obsessed with finding a mate. I took them to mean that I had to commit to myself first: my projects, my dreams, the things I loved - before I could truly commit to someone else. Even though I'm with a partner now, those words still hold true today. No one wants to be in a relationship with a needy or lonely person who isn't fully committed to his or her own life. I give this same advice to any other single women in my path, in the hopes that it will help them shift their mindset the way it helped me shift mine.