The Six-Word tweets that we’ve received throughout the festival have been incredibly diverse; they’ve made us laugh, they’ve made us cry, they’ve made us stop and think. But anyone who’s spent more than a few minutes on the internet knows that there are some real weirdos out there, and some of the Sixes that we remember the most are the ones that made us squint, tilt our heads slightly to the left, and go, “huh?”
Here are some of the most bizarre and least explicable submissions we received, sorted by prompt (not that the prompt really matters for these):
“I will never do that again”
my camel never eat with Children #sixwords #neveragain
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) September 24, 2013
The very existence of Iron Sheik is itself pretty confusing. And frankly, once we saw how actively pumped he was about the Six-Word fest, we weren’t really sure how we should deal with him.
In any case, I think the camel tweet is pretty much self-explanatory.
#neveragain Take a selfie with illegal monkeys #sixwords #OITNB @sixwords — Jason Biggs (@JasonBiggs) September 24, 2013
Thanks Jason Biggs, we’ll be pondering this one for months.
@SixWords #NeverAgain Eat hand sanitizer on a cracker. #SixWords
— Caissie St.Onge (@Caissie) September 24, 2013
Due respect, not sure what you expected the first time.
@SixWords #NeverAgain Eat hand sanitizer on a cracker. #SixWords — Caissie St.Onge (@Caissie) September 24, 2013 Due respect, I’m not sure what you expected the first time. Chicken with banana in my mouth. #neveragain #sixwords @sixwords — Becks Kidger (@Beckskidger) September 24, 2013
Here are some possible theories:
1) He tried to eat chicken with a banana already in his mouth, which was hard and tasted weird
2) He tried to play chicken (link) with a banana in his mouth, which got messy
3) He interacted with an actual chicken with a banana in his mouth, which led to some pecking/scratching
4) He’s insane
#sixwords @sixwords #neveragain Chromophobic psycho seeks killer of colour. — Ai Da (@moue) September 24, 2013
I have a strong feeling that this is clever.
“The secret ingredients to happiness are…”
#happysix #sixwords @sixwords Having Money and a Chocolate Penis — OttaWout (@The_Wout) September 24, 2013
Hey man, whatever makes you happy
#happysix #sixwords To paraphrase Beatles “A warm gun” — Mike Haley (@smirklesmirkle) September 24, 2013
No comment.
“I only turn off my phone when”
@RWW @IDAddicts I only turn my phone off when … One needs to hide dead bodies! #nophone #6WordsShortStory — Pamela Walsh (@yogitechchick) September 24, 2013
Certainly the most interesting use of the exclamation point. This one got a lot of nervous retweets. To add to the creep-factor, this is the first thing she’s tweeted in 4 months.
“Six words that mean you’re lying”
@michaelianblack “I eat my toenails in bed…” #sixlies #sixwords — John M. (@Mohn_Jichael) September 25, 2013
.@michaelianblack I can juggle using my nipples. #sixlies #sixwords — Kirk Novak (@novakkirk) September 25, 2013
Well, yes.
“Secret of life: __ __ __
@sixwords a flammable liver #threemore — DonDrapersLiver (@DonDrapersLiver) September 25, 2013
Your guess is as good as mine.
@sixwords Secret of Life: Be a candle. #threemore #sixwords — Mishell DeFelice (@shelldefelice) September 25, 2013
If taken metaphorically, this is kind of sweet. If taken literally, this is completely nuts. You decide.
“Where does all the time go?”
help me, I ate a walrus #timeflies #sixwords @robdelaney
— BeastlyPubes (@FeelNutts) September 26, 2013
sir, please stop motorboating the turkeys #sixwords #timeflies @sixwords
— BeastlyPubes (@FeelNutts) September 26, 2013
Little cats sucklin on my nips #timeflies #sixwords @sixwords
— Huayra-tata (@thebigG_69) September 26, 2013
@robdelaney Hoping to orgasm, he murdered everyone #timeflies #sixwords
— riptor (@riptor) September 26, 2013
Ah yes, how time does fly… wait, what?
Post a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.