For SixContest #109 we asked you to imagine the worst and come up with the best—best six words you don’t want to hear, that is. Sixers delivered they never want to hear as the Parkland shooting rocked the nation (“Quiet. Kept to himself. I’m shocked.”—TwoBillionSecondsOld), #metoo took Twitter by storm (“Two devastating, simple words…. “Me too”.—J3nny), kids made some questionable dietary decisions (“I just ate a tide pod.”—Stephefen), and adults needed a drink (“We’re all out of white wine.”) —canadafreeze. We heard timeless classics (“Don’t make me come in there!” —dmr) and Valentine’s Day hardships (“I just don’t love you anymore.”—jl333). Finally, here are six words we hope to never say: (“Smithmag site’s down for six days.”—DynamicDbytheC).
We certainly hope you never hear any of our favorites:
6. “Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!” —JoC.
5. “You backed everything up, right?” —Karno
4. “This song’s off our new album.” —Oh_Skinny
3. “Who are you?” Mom, it’s me. —FKA_Liza
2. “Does that mole look bigger to you?” —FelineHostage
And finally, the six words no one ever wants to hear:
1. “You know what your problem is?” —LTee